Amy Pelletier's Weblog

Last week, I drove up to Leesburg, VA (with my daughter, Chelsea) for my son’s wedding; it was 40 degrees when I arrived Friday, May 24th, and I had packed shorts and tank tops! I had 2 pairs of long pants, but the day of the wedding it was a beautiful day for a garden wedding. I had so many people telling me what a wonderful young man Evan is, which is always nice to hear. I love my new daughter-in-law, they are very well suited for each other. I drove home alone, leaving at around 6 pm the day of the wedding. I arrived in North Carolina around 11 pm, woke up the following morning (Sunday, the 26th) at 10:30 am and headed home. Arrived Monday morning (the 27th) at 5:30 am. I had such a wonderful, bittersweet time…missed Bobby a lot; we were supposed to go together. My daughter’s husband wasn’t able to go either; he is underway with the Coast Guard for 3 months.

Strange thing happend on my way home from North Carolina; I was driving at night and I was the only car going my direction. It was really dark and I had slowed my speed down. Suddenly I saw 2 deer on the side of the road, I prayed that they wouldn’t jump in front of my car, which they didn’t do, thank God. But, further on, in my lane were an armadillo AND a possum. I had no time to swerve to avoid them…thunk, thunk…I hit them both   I think that the armadillo had already been hit and the possum was feeding on the carcass, either that or they were ‘friends’. I felt horrible that I hit them, took me a while to shake that feeling off.

Once I download the pictures from my camera, I might post a picture or two here on my blog.

Today, I’m back at work; was really looking forward to returning. The problem is, I only got about 2 or 3 hours sleep. I had difficulty falling asleep, I was really restless for some reason. Now I’m kinda ‘droopy/sleepy’, but I’ll be okay. I’ve still got some ‘junk’ to put away from the trip, but other than those few papers, I’m ‘settled’ back in to being home.

So very happy and blessed with the new Mr. and Mrs. Evan Pelletier!

Today is May 7th…Bobby’s been gone 3 months now and I am still having GREAT difficulties just being in our house alone, still crying a lot. I don’t know if I’ve yet accepted his death; I want to be free from this pain, but the only way to ‘get over it’ is to ‘go through it’. Grieving has some interesting affects on me besides the emotional and physical pain. It has been shaping my life without Bobby, God has something in store for me…I just haven’t had clarity on what yet…too close to Bobby’s death. I’ll find out ‘somewhere down the road’ like Amy Grant’s song:

Somewhere Down the Road

Well, it’s been two months now since Bobby died; I haven’t kept up with anything lately. My heart is broken and feels like I’ll never be okay again. Woke up Sunday, February 3rd and Bobby had died in his sleep. We had gone to the neurologist’s on Friday, February 1st and he was to be scheduled for his 4th or 5th spine surgery in the following two weeks, but he didn’t make it. The last thing that I said to Dr. Kowalski was, “All I want is for him to be free from pain.” Didn’t think that the Lord would take him home in order to free him from the excruciating pain he’s been in since 2010 when his spinal surgeries began.

I think he had pneumonia and sleep apnea from the Vicodin that was prescribed. His face looked peaceful, no pain. He had just celebrated his 62nd birthday and our 18th anniversary on January 4th, 2013.

Loralee had to take care of all of his final paperwork, etc. since we were not ‘legally’ married. I felt so bad about this because she just lost her only son on October 17th, 2012; J. J. was only 8 1/2 months old, now her Daddy’s gone. I wish we would have made a will…don’t want to write any more right now…I’m so very, very sad.