Today is May 7th…Bobby’s been gone 3 months now and I am still having GREAT difficulties just being in our house alone, still crying a lot. I don’t know if I’ve yet accepted his death; I want to be free from this pain, but the only way to ‘get over it’ is to ‘go through it’. Grieving has some interesting affects on me besides the emotional and physical pain. It has been shaping my life without Bobby, God has something in store for me…I just haven’t had clarity on what yet…too close to Bobby’s death. I’ll find out ‘somewhere down the road’ like Amy Grant’s song:

Somewhere Down the Road

So much pain and no good reason why
You’ve cried until the tears run dry
And nothing else can make you understand
The one thing that you held so dear
Is slipping from your hand
And you sayWhy, why, why
Does it go this way
Why, why, why
And all I can say

Somewhere down the road
There’ll be answers to the questions
Somewhere down the road
Tho’ we cannot see it now
And somewhere down the road
You will find mighty arms reaching for you
And they will hold the answers at the end of the road

Yesterday I thought I’d seen it all
I thought I’d climbed the highest wall
Now I see the learning never ends
And all I know to do is keep on walking
Walking ’round the bend singing

Why, why, why
Does it go this way
Why, why, why
And all I can say

Somewhere down the road
There’ll be answers to the questions
Somewhere down the road
Tho’ we cannot see it now
And somewhere down the road
You will find mighty arms reaching for you
And they will hold the answers at the end of the road.
So, today, I will try and focus on Jesus and listen for His still, small voice. This is all I can do to help change my heart and mind. I want to help my students…I get a lot of love and support from everyone here at Remington, teachers AND students. Lord, I need Your peace.