This past Sunday, November 3rd, marked 9-months since Bobby’s death. That is difficult to write, Bobby’s death. It was so unexpected, without warning like others who’ve been struggling with a terminal illness.

Bobby’s terminal illness was his addictions. He constantly was bound by this theif of his heart, mind, soul, and body. I’ve forgiven him of this long ago; who I am directing my anger towards is not him, not God, but Adam and Eve and their disobedience to God’s request. By choosing to disobey and eat the fruit of the forbidden tree, they ushered in the fact that we all will die. God never meant for us to succumb to this enemy; His plan was to create man in His image, but by blessing us with free will, we chose to dishonor Him in all our ways.

Death is the only certainty in this life we’ve been given. We are but a breath, a blink of an eye, fading flowers, falling stars. His word says to count our days and use them wisely. Our flesh is so prone to wander from His intents for us to be blessed above and beyond our wildest dreams. But He had a plan…He sent His only Son to Earth to fulfill this plan. He never gave up on man although at times He was sorry He created us because of our evil hearts. He gave us the most incredible gift, all we have to do is accept the gift of atonement through the shed blood of Jesus on the cross. His blood, incredibly, washes us CLEAN AS SNOW! Blood naturally stains and is difficult to remove from wherever it touches, yet He used it to wash us of our sin.

So, because of this gift, and Bobby’s acceptance of the free gift of salvation, he now is in the presence of his Savior, Jesus Christ. He’s free from pain and the addictions, which had him bound and subservient to the cravings. Thank you Lord for bringing him into my life. I truly never gave up on him, no matter what he did. I constantly forgave him and loved him…I think that I chose to never give up on him because I had been abandoned twice by men who married me, supposedly to live our lives together until death separated us. Bobby was the only one to date that was with me until we were separated because he had taken his last breath on this Earth and was instantly transformed and shed the body that imprisoned him for his 62 years on Earth.

Lord, did he know how much I loved him? Did he know how much I depended on him? Did he know how much I appreciated who he was? I certainly hope so. Lord, please bring me to a place of peace with the loss of the love of my life. Now I need to truly depend on You for sustaining my life here on Earth, though daily, I long to be with you and no longer of this world. Because of this hope, I say with all my heart, “Come quickly Lord Jesus”.

Help me to never forget that You are my Source, my Strength, my Savior and Redeemer. Guide me into Your perfect will for my remaining days here on Earth…COME QUICKLY LORD JESUS! Amen